Choose your effi-ji: The A-Z of real-time Ravanas to be burned this Dussehra

Choose your effi-ji: The A-Z of real-time Ravanas to be burned this Dussehra
22/10/2020, by , in Home Page Articles

Good and Evil used to be a simple white and black. Both now have an identity crisis. Thanks to the 50 Shades of Bray heard every day, one man’s meet is another man’s superspreader. Stuff like secularism, free speech and polyunsaturated fat used to be praised in song and Sunday supplements; now they are the Asuras, Lucifers, Darth Vaders, fallen irredeemably into the dark side. Bollywood was once our hero, upholder of the Ram-Rahim rhetoric, arbiter of social stereotypes and body shape alike; now it has morphed into a den of dynastic despotism and drug-lords. Why, even the once-unambiguous Ramrajya seems scarily like Kaliyug for several sections.

The only unambiguous, unmitigated evil is Shri C-virus. So, if you are totally confused over which other demons deserve to be burned this Sunday, here’s a list of handy effigies. Disclosure: some carry a shelve-by date. Hopefully sooner than next Dussehra.

Arbitrary arrests, atrocities, acai berries

Bollywood-bashing, bigotry, BARCs sans bite

Covidiots, conspiracy theories, caged parrots

Dissidents’ denunciation, Deep State, dessert divas

Exclusions of all kinds, ED-terrorism

Fake news/charges/ Covid cures, (click) farms

Governor-meddling, GST-grabbing, GDP-shrinkers

Hathras shame, hate-crimes, hunger, helicopter moms

Immunity boosters, illusory revival packages

Jihad of the LeT, not  love, kind, Janmabhoomi replay

Kangaroo courts, Kanganitis, kale crusaders

Lockdown, LACdown, lynchers, leaks

Marijuana equated with Meow-Meow/ meth

Neta-betas in cricket too, NCB overreach, narcoanalysis

Old normal hazards, oxymeter obsession

Pandemic, politicking, post-truth, ‘Ping me’

Quarantine, QAnon, quacks, quinoa upma

Rapists, Rhea culpa, ‘religious sentiments’ as politics

Sedition law, social media spies, spirulina shakes

Trolls, TRPs, Tablighi-thrashers, toxic everything

Urban-Naxal bogey, urban decay, unemployment

Vaccine inequality, video-blackmail, virtual garba

WFH, witch-hunts, Whatsapp wild fires, webinars

X-es who refuse to get ex-ed

YouTube as MeTube, yoga sham-ans, ‘Yo!’

Zooming to zombie-dom

* * *

Alec Smart said: “Now brace for a pandalemic.”

DISCLAIMER : This article is intended to bring a smile to your face. Any connection to events and characters in real life is coincidental.

About Bachi Karkaria

SAWM India member Bachi Karkaria writes the weekly column “Erratica” for Times of India and is the Director of the Times Litfest. Her latest book is “In Hot Blood” (Juggernaut, 2017). She lives in Mumbai.